I recently
was blessed to be able to attend my second birth as a doula. I have to say that
I am addicted. What a fulfilling feeling you get from serving these laboring
mamas! Outside of the calling of wife, mother, and sharing the Good News there
is no other service that brings me such joy and peace.
This is my
account of the last birth I was privileged to attend written for my sweet and
very strong client, Denise.
A Doula's
Perspective
I got the much
anticipated call around 6:30 a.m., jumped out of bed, and readied myself for
what the day may bring. I prayed on and off the entire 45 minute trip for this
precious family's dreams of a natural, healthy, and peaceful birth to unfold
before us. When I arrived Denise seemed to be in the early active phase of labor.
She had a faint and hopeful smile and such a beautiful countenance about her.
Scott was getting things together and was speaking in hushed tones giving his
brother instructions.
I wasn't there but
a minute or two and Denise had a contraction. They were short but breathtaking.
She would start feeling the surge and kneel down at the coffee table to ride
the wave of her contraction. She seemed serious, but completely in control.
When it was over she mentioned how strong and hard it was. She was feeling all
of the pain in her front to lower abdomen and was very nauseous on and off. She
mentioned that she had thrown up before I had gotten there. Her contractions
had started around 4:30 that morning. That made me start to think that she was
further along than I had originally mentally assessed. Her contractions seemed
to come one on top of the other with little rest in between. She breathed well
through them moving from birth ball, kneeling, and to the bathroom. She seemed
so in control and able to converse in between them that I had thought that
surly things would be getting much stronger. Around 8:15 Denise's water broke.
After the second time of her vomiting I felt strongly that we needed to get to
the hospital. I let her and Scott know that we needed to get going now. For the
record, Scott wanted to leave 15 minutes before that. Her contractions really
started to build more and more and it was taking her longer than I wanted to
get out the door and into the car. One of the sweetest memories I have of the
labor is Scott supporting Denise with her hands around his neck through a
contraction right by the back door. They finally got in the car and we were off
to the hospital 15 minutes away.
We arrived at the
hospital at what I would guess was 8:45. I walked into the emergency entrance
to Denise gingerly getting into the wheelchair, Scott giving the desk
information, and a nurse ready to wheel her off. Denise started having another
contraction so I asked the nurse to please wait while I helped her breathe
through it. I held Denise's hand and coached her to moan through it and
silently prayed in my mind for Abba to please be with her during this very
tough time to come. Poor thing! She was so uncomfortable for this bumpy ride
and continued to have contractions closer together and decidedly more intense
than before.
We got up to the
room and a nurse handed her a specimen cup and a gown to put on. At this point
Denise had already said a couple of times that she was having A LOT of pressure
in her bottom and was feeling pushy. I reiterated this to the nurse who seemed
to not be in any hurry at all and more concerned about her urine specimen. lol
Denise breathed through contractions as she got undressed, got her gown on, and
headed for the bathroom for that sample. Denise seemed frustrated by this, but
tried to give it. She couldn't or just gave up and told me, "I can't do
this right now." I told her jokingly that I don't know how in the world
they expect a pregnant laboring woman to even reach to pee in a cup.
Denise made her
way to the bed and got in the best she could saying the entire time how much
pressure she was feeling. When her next contraction came she was half grunting
half breathing through them. The nurse came in and examined her. She was
complete and ready to push but the doctor was still en route. Denise asked for
Scott who was still downstairs. The nurse kept telling her to breathe through
the contractions. My heart went out to Denise who was truly felling such
intense urges to bear down. It felt like torture to me to ask her to breathe
through these contractions. But breathe she did, just like the powerful woman
she is. The doctor finally arrived and they broke down the bed to my dismay
since it left little room for position change. Scott finally arrived and I
could sense the relief she felt. It's amazing the comfort a husband can bring a
woman with just his presence. Somewhere around this time staff came in with all
kinds of forms for Denise to sign. This was both comical and annoying to me at
the same time. They're reading her all of this stuff and she's just trying to
make it through contractions. She opened her eyes long enough to sign these
papers that I doubt she even heard what they said and then took her fingerprint.
It was amusing because they were so serious and insistent but annoying because
they were breaking the mood and atmosphere of her birth.
Finally all of the
red tape had been taken care of and she could get down to this business of
birthing her long awaited son. I stood on her left coaching her and keeping her
cool with a damp cloth and Scott stood on her right holding her hand and
whispering in her ear. There was a lot of pushing and for what seemed a very
long time. I'm not sure on the time period since I couldn't find the clock. She
was so calm and controlled in between contractions. The doctor talked to both
mom and dad asking questions now and then. At one point she had been pushing a
while and the seriousness in the room seemed to increase...hope started to
deflate. The doctor started asking Denise about how far she got with her last
birth. You see, Denise was attempting a VBAC. It was her hope, her dream, her
goal. We all told the doctor that the last birth, her sweet Kennedy, went about
this far. I had so wanted to initiate a position change or two earlier but the
doctor seemed determined to have her in the usual position. When it seemed to
me that the doctor was going to suggest another C-section I asked him if he
would allow us to help her push in a different position to which his response
was, "You can, but I don't think it will help." Shortly after, he
lowered the bed a little saying that he thought a more straight path would free
baby up to come through the birth canal.
You see, right
before that I think a miracle happened in the room. The doctor reassured Denise
that baby would be coming out one way or the other. At first I thought it was
just a cheap reassurance that we would get a baby even if it had to be by
C-section, but then he said baby would be coming "this way" implying
vaginally. Once again hope soared through the room and Denise was empowered
with new strength, new resolve to bring this baby into the world. It wasn't
long and baby Gavin came forth into this room and into his mom's capable arms
who had prayed for him, hoped for him, longed to give him a beautiful and
peaceful start on the journey of life. Denise was such a great laborer and her
hard work and resolve had paid off. It was a blessing and a privilege to be a
part in her journey and the beginning of little Gavin's. Thank you, Scott and
Denise, for allowing me to serve you. May the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob
bless your family and keep you through the days to come.